Family Vent Struggle

The older I get the more I realize there is more than one definitive definition for a word. Lately, for me, family has been one of those words. Growing up I lived in different family aspects. My mom, sister and I lived with my grandparents then for about ten years lived as a Brady Bunch type family with the only man I’ve ever called Dad and his two boys. Throughout the years my younger siblings were born, Renee, Joe and Beth. Eventually that family fell apart and I needed to move on. I moved back in with my grandparents and eventually started my own family, fell apart and am now in my forever family. I know this is the cliff notes of the cliff notes version of my family life growing up but my point/thoughts are beyond my past. The biggest problem I have with my family history is after all the years of being a “forever” family half of it is missing. My brothers (what most of the world would call step-brothers) are people I say hi to when I’m in Utah but none of us go out of our way to be involved in the others’ lives. My dad (step-dad) is friends with me on facebook but doesn’t acknowledge he helped raise me, took me into his house and family and made promises and covenants to be my father forever.

I think that’s what my post is really about, my dad(s). See I found my biological father when I was about 22. I have been to Michigan several times and made attempts to meet him but there always seems to be an excuse. I have spoken with his wife more than I have with him. I was fed up with being dragged along so I finally told him one day what I think and how I feel. If he wants to be a part of my and his granddaughters’ lives then he needs to start making some effort. If he didn’t want to be involved then fine but don’t string us along. We finally actually met in person at the end of one of our trips to Michigan to visit AJ’s family (completely different can of worms there). I was a quick hey how are you nice to meet you meeting. No one took any pictures or anything. I understand people process things in different ways and this was a big event/deal. I just always thought he would be a little more interested since I am his ONLY blood child.

My step-dad was done with me the day he dropped me in California at my grandparents’ house when I was in high school. He has since remarried and has taken in her children and treats them better than he does his own kids. Of course he had no problem continuing to take child support from my mom until I was 18 even after I (and my sister) had moved out. SO ridiculous! I just don’t understand it and may never fully understand. There are little comments he makes and things he says and does that I still let get to me and effect me. I don’t want it to hurt but for some reason it still does.

I am just grateful my husband is a great dad and father to our kids, including Dawn who doesn’t have any other father in her life. (Yes her father is a dead beat). Ugh men!

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